One email, one stitch at a time

I have a bestest friend, whom I really love, and I think she is great: E.

I have not talked to her in a very long time, because I get anxious every time I try to email her. I get so anxious that I postpone it, and then it's been so long that I think she must be angry at me and that makes me more anxious, and I postpone it. You see where this is going.

Today is E's birthday, and I have finally written to her. It's not a very coherent email, because I'm never very coherent when I'm doing something that scares me, as irrational as that fear might be. I hate it when my illnesses get the better of me so today, armed with the excuse of her birthday, I finally gathered the courage.

I am also making her a lacy mohair and silk scarf in one of her colours, and I have let her know that in the email. It's the only thing I can do. Despite my panic, I know that she forgives me (in fact, she is probably more worried than upset at me), but I need to come to terms with this as well. So I will knit her the scarf, and put in each stitch all the love I have for her, and how much I want that bond to reunite again. A scarf like a bridge to get us together again, even if we've probably never left each other.

I am very lucky to have her friendship, that spans time and place without regards for them, and I would hate to lose that. So I overcome my fears for her, and knit the bridge scarf. One email, one stitch at a time.