Thursday, 6 May 2010

On different levels of socialisation

I have been trying to make sense in my head of the fact that I have both become more sociable, and more anti-social, and I think I have managed to reach a conclusion on what I have been doing. Aren't you lucky, dear audience, that you get to read it? ;)

I realised there are two socialising modes: active, and background. By "active" socialising I mean big things, events. I've done loads of those recently! I've gone out to drinks with my co-workers (back home much before anybody else, but still out), dinner with friends, games evenings, going to the cinema or the market... I've been out!

Ah, but the background socialising... This is where I have become even more antisocial. I barely talk at lunch at work, and I barely even write/post online, in any social media (blog, forums, FB, etc). I read, at least. I have not stopped keeping up with blogs and posts and friends, but I don't comment back, I don't complete any kind of communication circle.

Being sociable takes a lot of energy (it always has for me, even at my best). I can manage big events because I know they are happening, so I can prepare and arrange things. But the low-level socialising is proving too much for me. It is leeching only a little bit of energy at the time, but it is constant, and I just can't really handle that loss.

I think this means my fatigue is getting slowly worse, but by cutting down the social leech, I am able to retain enough energy to be functional in other areas. I've redirected it so that I don't feel that energy loss outside the social area. It's not ideal, but on the other hand I feel a bit better most of the time, so that is my current trade-off.

So I've bee knitting, reading, spinning, playing games, just not reporting any of it. The other day, I even found myself with "free" time, time that I didn't have to plan detailed to be able to do everything, just extra time, because I wasn't too tired. I have a wonderful silk shawl finished, only pending pictures.

Low level socialising is not for me at the moment, although I'm quite happy I still have some to do "big" social events. So, does anybody have a plan? Any direct Questions, which are really like plans? Those I can do!


  1. I agree, socializing does take away energy and time. My plan: I try to balance my "big" social events with the "lower-level" stuff. I also can't do too much of both at the same time, it drains the resources I need for work and daily affairs. I make sure that I don't beat myself up if I have to back off of either, saying no go going out when needed, not blogging/facebooking, etc., when needed as well.

    And I try to recognize when it's all too much and I need to rest. :)

  2. I have "dead days" when I stay close to home and do as little as possible. It gives me a recharge to face the world.

    Do what you can when you can.