Wednesday, 13 February 2008

xkcd *always* knows

Today's xkcd is very sad, and it speaks directly to me, as it is about depression (or so I make it out to be).


(full page link here)

At least the hover comment does bring a little smile to my face.1

Yesterday I was down in the evening. I started to go down at lunchtime, and I was depressed again. At least it was not sad and crying depressed, but more apathetic, "meh", nothing matters depressed.
I might not be getting better on the depression, but I know I am getting a lot better at identifying and knowing about my depression, which I think it's very important. Know your enemy, etc.
So I left work early, went home, and made a cup of ginger, lemon and honey tea, got my blanket, my book and I curled up in the sofa. It didn't make it go away, but I think it made it stable, which sometimes is just as good.

Alex is getting better at dealing with my depression as well. He did not sound upset once, and was cute to me, being a bit silly, rather than try to reason. It made me feel a lot better and, while it might not have got me up, it certainly didn't get me further down, as there was very little guilt. I think he also saw that I was trying hard to control it to at least a stable level, and that is a lot more helpful than when I just let the depression engulf me. I don't know how long he can manage without getting upset, though, because I know it's difficult for him too.

When I got tired of reading, I watched the Matrix and knitted. I have now reknit all the mouse pieces for a hopefully not speshul mouse. Although speshul mouse is going to have a good life: at the moment it's quietly sitting on my office phone, while the rest of the mice will be given to a kitten, Alfie, to live in fear chased by him all day.
Alfie belongs to one of Alex's coworkers. Alfie and I will get to meet next week, because Alex has been arranging a kitten meeting for my birthday!
Alfie is like me and he only likes meeting new people only for a bit, because he gets nervous when he's been too long around new people, so we'll just meet for a bit, while both of us are feeling well. I've been obsessed with kittens for a while, but I've never met one in person, so I hope it all goes well.

1 If you are using Firefox, you might not be able to see it all. Go and download the Long Titles extension. In the mean time, the text says Oh, look, the 'make everything better' button was here behind the bookshelf all along.

1 comment:

  1. oooooooh a kitten... I wish we had a house already, one where I'll be allowed to keep a cat again, I miss my Luna

    good on you, for recognising your depression episode and acting well on it, good on Alex, for being just what you needed, good on you, for writing it down and making me feel not so alone...

    take care!!!