It's the small things in life

The best thing about quitting your main antidepressant is that you can drink black coffee again without triggering a migraine! This is so much better.

Being out of the (nasty) withdrawal period, and not having had any mood changes due to the stopping are also nice, but I missed my black coffee! :)

Brief exahustion interlude

This lack of energy is so crap. Another weekend feeling rotten, and I'm pretty sure is because of the meds decrease. My body just can't understand that I'm not forgetting them, this is on purpose, and it's really annoying. I have an appointment with my doctor next Monday (not tomorrow), but I don't know whether to continue with the 25-25-0, or go back to have 25mg of sertraline everyday in between.

This evening I finally managed to pick up a bit, after a whole weekend of not wanting to do anything, and not finding joy on anything (not playing video games, or the Wii, or knitting, or reading, everything was bland). However, I phoned my grandma yesterday, and I made her the happiest woman on Earth, and that made me feel better.

As a result of picking up, I want to share my most recent yarn purchase with you:

Several skeins of Peaches & Cream (rav link) worsted cotton for amigurumi, bought from Create and Knit. I would totally recommend them. I found the shop via a thread in Ravelry asking for cheap cotton in the UK, and the shop was highly recommended. My yarn arrived 2 days after I ordered, in perfect conditions, and wrapped in extra plastic bags, so it wouldn't get wet. I was thrilled by the speed. And the cotton is nice and perfect for the task. I've just started a little robot, so you will be able to see it in action soon.

I have two more yarn purchases on the way, so expect more yarn pr0n soon.


My Healing Cardigan is progressing slowly, but I have finally finished the 1st sleeve. Pix because it did happen:

You can't take the sky from me

Every once in a while, when somebody asks me how I'm feeling, I answer "Still flying". While the people who used to asked me that understood exactly what I mean, I feel most people I tell it to now don't, and they think it's all going awesome. I clearly should stop saying it, because they end up thinking I am much better than I really am, but it's not my fault if they are uneducated!

So, when I say that I'm still flying, this is what I mean:

Simon, a doctor, has just been invited to form part of Mal's spaceship crew. They haven't exactly got along well so far
Simon: I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can... How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?
Mal: You don't know me, son, so let me explain this to you once. If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
Simon: Are you always this sentimental?
Mal: Had a good day.
Simon: You had the Alliance on you, criminals and savages, half the people on the ship have been shot or wounded including yourself, and you're harboring known fugitives.
Mal: We're still flying.
Simon: That's not much.
Mal: It's enough.

Once more, go see Firefly. Like now.
There will be a rather silly picture later. I seemed to have knitted some kind of monster. You'll see.

Cristina n+10, Depression n

Yesterday was a very special day. I had suspected the day before that maybe I was going to have a rough day yesterday, because as I was going to bed I went into a "I'm really ugly" spell.
The events yesterday weren't too bad, but I kept having nasty thoughts creeping up. But I beat them. I got a big stick and hit the thoughts (bad, bad thought! go back to where you came from!) and managed to keep the depression at bay all day.
I ended up with no nails, and I was very tired and behaving rather childishly by the end of the day (kittens!), but I succeeded!

It is the first time since I fell ill that I can keep the depression at bay all day, in a day when it's trying to get me down. I feel really proud.

Ravelry to Get Knitted

This past Saturday, a bunch of us from Ravelry descended mercilessly upon Get Knitted, set up camp there, and raided their supplies (both yarn and food). It was awesome.
I was really excited by the prospect. I was too excited to be panicking about meeting new people. So I went in there, to the unknown, not afraid. I knitted, bought lots of yarn and talked to lots of people, and I didn't panic, nor had to run away and hid, nor was more ill the following day. It was one of the best things ever.

So, the actual meeting. About 30-35 people were there, some coming from as far as London¹. Everybody was really friendly and on the same wavelength. Everybody from my knitting group was there, but I didn't just talk to them: I was sociable with most people.
We had an author with us, woolly wormhead, and wyesue had brought her spinning wheel, so I was hypnotised by that for a while. I really can't remember most people's names, but one lady recommended to knit through the back loop when picking up stitches along the sock's heel gusset, to minimise the holes, so I will try that next time.
Here are some pictures of the gathering, in thumbnail version, click for full size:



²


I did quite some buying, especially because of the 10% discount, but at least I bought for 3 specific projects, rather than randomly for a stash, so it's not too bad at all.

I finally found yarn for my Jayne hat. I had been looking for non-woolly yarn in the recommended thickness (12 st/10 cm), but that is nearly impossible to find. So now I have thinner yarn which I will just use doubled. This same yarn, with a bit of blue thrown in, should allow me to do the Katamari, although I still need to learn how to crochet.

I also got yarn for my healing jacket (I've decided that that will be its role, as well as keeping me warm). I got some Rowan Summer Tweed, which looks tweedy, but it's made out of cotton and silk. It looks kind of "rough", but it is really soft. I have started the tummy stripes, but for now I can only show the yarn.


And an update on my Clapotis, which everybody liked and admired and some people have started queueing it after seeing me knit one. Go me!


I do hope Ravelry meets again. It was great.


¹ Although, that said, I *have* gone down to London before just for a pub lunch.
² I'm not very good at naming pics.

Scary thought of the day

Scary thought of the day: people are actually reading my blog.

I mean, I suppose that was what I always wanted, but I never thought that it would happen. It was more like one of those fantasies in which I am a kick-ass medieval knight, or a witch.

But yesterday was a mentally sunny day, and today it only had some clouds. So I feel ok to accept readers, rather than panic about it and never coming here again.

Messed up, me? Nooooo...

I are teh strong

Not only knitting happens in my life, although sometimes "the knit, the geek and the therapy" sums it up pretty well. Today, for now, there is geek and therapy.

I can program in Python. I have made a Hello World, and that for me means that I can program on it. Increasing up to 5 the languages I can program in.

I overcame my depression this morning and, rather than phone in sick, I got up and got to work (albeit really late), and managed to cheer myself up on the way. I saw the picture of the cutest duckling on the way in, and the weather, sunny but frosty, made everything look beautiful. Today, I won.