Tuesday, 8 January 2008

And then I dreamt

Yesterday night something rather strange happened. I normally have weird dreams (the boyfriend always comments on how messed up I am every time I tell him about them ☺), but this was just odd: I dreamed I was ill, and had a nervous breakdown.
I was in my high school (not exactly my real one, but the dreamed modification of my real one: it's almost the same, but the dreamed modifications stay constant from dream to dream), and we were outside for PE. We were playing handball in such a little space that my hand was hitting the wall every time I tried to serve.
At some point I started shacking and having a nervous attack and, ironically, I remember everybody around me panicking, while I was just thinking "It's alright, I'm just panicking, I'll just sit here for a bit until it goes away". Which I did, I was just shacking a little.
But they seemed to panic a lot, and called the ambulance, and two medics arrived. They created such commotion outside that everybody out the door from the court I was in, and the principal was rather upset at all the mess I had caused. They all just wanted to see who had caused all the fuss.
I was not going out through that door.
However, at that point I regained my cool, took one of the medics through the side elevator, went to class to pick my stuff (in which I managed to put down the bullies, including the teacher, who was ..something... he was trying to hide), and then changed from my PE clothes before going majestically down the stairs, and surprising everybody, who were looking at the other door waiting so see some kind of wreck.
I remember even touching one of my friends in the shoulder and telling him that I was going to be away for a little bit (we were still going back to hospital), and he said that he understood, and he really did.

This is the first time I am ill in my dreams, and was a bit disturbing, but I like the way in which I recovered a bit and took control of the situation.
And, just this time, I want to believe in dreams, because it meant so much that my friend understood why I haven't been quite so active in our friendship. I think he does understand a bit. And he keeps trying, and sometimes I react, and I can still keep him. Which means a lot to me.

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